Yesterday afternoon i abandoned my own belief. After talking to a married adult, i think i'm being too much on the fantasy side. Demo sa...sakki wa (just now) i embraced it back. =)

Sankyu Sapuri XD. Tonikaku (By the way/ anyway) Sapuri is another great J-dorama. Masaki Ito and Kamenashi Kazuya. Yoshaaaa kame-kun! Zettai ni ore no tai-ppu!

I dono how true it is but i believe that a true love can happen between a woman and a younger guy. I believe in it for the last 7years and still do.

Young guys these days are said to be less responsible, playful, not stable, weak, not able to guide...everything man. At least thats what that person told me. Somehow it made me feel scared and it made me think i'm such a baka for believing such thing. Demo neh, if we really like that person, doesnt he deserve at least some hope that he is different? Requited or not. Doesnt he deserve a little trust that he is capable of doing the very best for that woman? Although he is younger than her? By all means, never judge a person just by the first look, in this case age.

I think that young guys also deserve respect. Well maybe not respect as someone older, but as a human and as a man. Otoko desu. Ah, i know there are JERKS too in this world, but let's think of the good guys only ok! I cant stand girls that take advantage of their guys, i mean how can someone be so selfish to slap the guy for some foolish reason! Damn it. Ahh YURUSENAI (unforgivable)

Another thing that i believe is that, love itself is strong enough to change a person without the need of words. (ah but some need words neeh, like those blockhead people). It is enough to make someone strong. Enough to make us overcome anything. Enough to make sacrifice for that person. Then again, love can also destroy that person. This sentence makes me wanna laugh. Oh well.

They said, it's easier to say this than doing it. It's easier to say than to feel it. Still i'm saying it. But that is not the point, at least i have something to believe in and everyday keep hoping on it.

Everytime when i think of Love and Marriage, another word came up. Trust. I've been thinking about that too. Well not only about love n marriage neh, it's an important thing in our life. I realise smthg, it's because we dont trust that someone, thats why our mind keep wandering around, thinking about all the unthinkable things. The next thing we realise, we are worried, stressed up, becomes scared and it may even change to anger. Maybe that was the source of fear too.

Trusting someone is not that easy, but losing the trust is super easy. How shrewd life is. But sometimes, after losing the trust, u're still clinging on to that same person. I wonder what is it that made us clinging to it? Is it the love or the memories that we just couldnt forget?

Trusting that person in the first place, was it a correct move? Is this suppose to make me stronger or am i suppose to leave and pack up those feelings? Wakarannai neh.

Most of the time, i'm afraid to believe things, i'm afraid to get hurt inside, like what if it turns out to be a mistake? Like all the years you've spent waiting, sacrificing, getting hurt is gone wasted? Or maybe u've just been used? Damn it will feel super stale.

Demo sa....even if there is happiness and it lasted for 1sec, it's kinda worth it neh? If only it lasted longer =)

Like japanese drama, every episode they will give this kind of question neh. =)

Yappari, kiseki wa inai ka? Kono otoka wa machigai ka? Jya sono kanji wa? Mugen ka?
Mata machigaitta? Dakara mata sagashiteruka? Matteiruka? Akirameru ka?

Alot of questions neh? I've been pondering these kind of things for a very long time but it seems that it's superrr muzukashii (difficult) to put into words.

Maybe this is what she's trying to tell him,

There are just some things i wanna do with him
There are just some things i wanna do for him
But there are also some things i want him to do for me.